Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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