....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
