New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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