I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize