This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
