he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
how does that bad decision feel?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
