I cannot find my penis.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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