your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
