he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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