So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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