never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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