i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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