WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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