I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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