i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I looked at my own cervix.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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