Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
