guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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