I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
