so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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