yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
