why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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