you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
