So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
