didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do vagina's smell?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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