she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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