how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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