Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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