this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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