I accidentally had phone sex last night
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize