too bad you live with your parents still
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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