either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
