There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
