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That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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