i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
