Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
