Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
