I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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