I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think my vagina is haunted
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
