Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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