The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
