sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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