Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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