GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
