Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize