im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
