Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize