Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
