I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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