i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this just has baby written all over it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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