Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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