these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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