Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The struggles of a small town man whore
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