I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We named our party play list daddy issues
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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