You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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