Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
