gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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