So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
