I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
