quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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