So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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