I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize