; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I touched a dick in church today
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize